Jimjilbang - Korea's Naked Spa Experience

I've now been to three Korean spas, but only had the nerve to experience the true jimjilbang "naked" experience in the third.  I guess I was working up my courage and used the first two to see how it all worked before diving headlong in.
They are not straightforward.  If I hadn't had a native Korean speaker with me the first time I would have probably done it all wrong.  Even then, I had trouble figuring out the incredibly sophisticated details of the highly complicated check-in process.
I've discerned that all spas at least start out the same.  First you pay entry and the lady will give you an outfit, not unlike hospital scrubs.  She might give you a towel too.  Or towels might be inside waiting for you.  She also gives you a slip of paper with a number on it.  Your first task is to find the small locker that matches the number on your slip of paper and leave your shoes in there.  You take the key from this locker   You can keep it around your wrist or ankle using the little elastic band it is attached to.  From here on, men and women separate.  This was challenging the first time, as I had all 3 kids with me, and Charlie was only 6.  Thankfully, there were 3 other small boys in our group, so we sent all 4 boys off to the men's locker room by themselves, to put on their little outfits (hospital scrubs). 
We went into the women's locker room to find the matching locker to our key.  I was instantly shocked by what was inside the locker room.  Yes, there were lockers, and yes there were naked women.  But there was also a food counter and a gift shop!?!  You could buy hard boiled eggs or a new bra, among other things.  Mind blown.  We changed into our little outfits and met up with the boys again outside. 
Now, a Korean spa is a destination that you can spend the whole day at.  I had not realized that this is where families go to relax, take naps, eat meals, get massages, play, swim, watch TV, you name it.  We ate lunch at a restaurant where everyone is in the same matching outfits.  All communal areas require these outfits.  It was very weird the first time.  I guess I'm getting used to it though.
This spa had a huge room with sleeping mats on the floor where parents were taking naps or watching their kids play.  I was told that one parent will slip off to the 'naked' area to sit in the hot tubs while the other parent watches the kids.  Then they switch.  There was a pool for the kids to swim in, a ball pit with trampolines, and a huge screen TV for them to watch TV.  On this first visit, we just ate at the restaurant and then took the kids to the pool.

 A nice feature of the key around your wrist is that you also use that to pay for your food at the restaurant.  And when you go to leave, you can't get your shoes out of the small locker until you've paid your bill.  The locker just won't open if there is an open tab on it.  Pretty ingenious.

The second spa experience was at a much swankier place, aimed for tourists, not locals.  Still had to wear the special outfits, but this time went into the dry heat saunas.  They have different rooms set to different temperatures, each with its own unique ingredient: Pink Salt, Charcoal, Amethyst, Elvan Stones and Ice.  Each ingredient is said to have special healing properties.  We also did the hot tubs and the pools.  The hot tubs on the roof had their own unique ingredients too: Milk and Green Tea.

Virtual Spa - the scenery changes periodically

Green Tea hot tub

lunch in our matching outfits

And my third spa experience was where I finally went into the naked area.  (no more pics from here on out.) Rather than a large group of women, this time I only went with one friend.  She showed me what to do.  If not for her, again I would have definitely broken some unspoken rules of the jimjilbang.  This one had the same set up as the others: pay at the desk, get the outfit, go into the locker room.  The naked areas are accessed from the locker rooms.  My friend had told me to bring soap and shampoo, and even my razor if I wanted.  I walked into this room full of hot tubs on one side and rows of low sinks and stools on the other side.  Naked women were sitting on the stools, washing themselves at the sinks, and spraying themselves down with hoses.  Apparently you must completely bathe yourself before entering the hot tubs.  Full lather and shampoo to be totally clean before soaking.  And, awkwardly, there is a mirror behind each sink.  I guess that keeps you from staring at the woman on the other side of the row, and keeps your eyes on yourself.  I'd rather have had a blank wall than a mirror.  But that's just me.  After we washed up, we headed over to the hot tubs.  Each hot tub is a different temperature and there are even cold tubs if you like to alternate hot, then cold. 
I figured since I was there and already naked, I might as well get the full experience and put my money on the table for a full body scrub.  This had the feeling of putting your quarter on the edge of an arcade game to get in line.  On the wall was a menu of options: massages, body scrubs, facials, etc.  I had heard that the body scrub was well worth the money, so that's what I chose.  When my number was called, I went over to the area slightly set off from the rest, by a low wall.  Three women who worked there were in their panties; only one bothered to wear a bra.  There were three tables; two were already occupied.  The lady wearing the bra beckoned to me and motioned for me to lay on the middle table.  I have to say that although I felt very exposed, being naked and all, it wasn't as uncomfortable as getting a wax or a GYN exam.  She proceeded to scrub me down with a scratchy exfoliant cream.  As I was lying there, trying to ignore the feeling of a cat's tongue licking my entire body, I watched the woman next to me get her massage.  The masseuse, only in panties, first covered her in hot wet towels.  Then started slapping the towels with her cupped hand, which made this really loud noise and I was afraid it must be painful.  I asked the lady on the table if it hurt, and she said no it felt good.  So, to be clear, it wasn't weird for me to be watching her, since she was watching me.  There wasn't anything else to look at. 
The masseuse next to me then proceeded to take the towels off and start massaging the woman.  At this point it started getting weird, since a masseuse really uses her whole body to massage, not just her hands.  She was rocking back and forth, and like I said before, she wasn't wearing a bra.  I swear I saw her breasts make contact with the woman she was massaging as she really got into the massage.  (I silently said a prayer of thanks that my masseuse was wearing a bra.)  Then, as if that wasn't odd enough, she then climbed up on to the table and held onto a metal bar on the ceiling for balance.  She proceeded to walk on the lady's back.  I'm not sure if this was a deep tissue massage or not.  It sure looked intense. 
Meanwhile, I was getting scrubbed down, head to toe, with basically sandpaper, and the dead skin was sloughing off in piles.  She would occasionally dump a basin of water on me to rinse me off.  It sounds crazy, but my skin has never felt so soft.  I would totally go back. 
So, there you have it, the Jimjilbang -  Korean's Naked Spa Experience.  Definitely something I would recommend everyone try while in Korea.  As long as being naked in front of strangers is something you can handle.  Which, I suppose, not everyone can.